*I originally had no title for this post because I was torn about how the race went but I'm at peace with it now and I disliked the ???? title.
I'm not sure how to title this post because I'm not sure how I feel about the marathon at this point. On one hand I'm proud of myself for completing it and on the other I'm disappointed because I know I could do better. Here's the back story, the week of the marathon I was a nervous wreck (see previous puking post) but by the middle/end of the week I felt like I had gotten most of my nerves under control. But I wake up Friday morning and I'm queasy, weak feeling, and not the least bit hungry-very unusual! I decide that I need to at least try to get something down at lunch but a few hours later it all comes right back up (TMI, I know). Needless to say I don't eat much the rest of the day for fear of losing more fluids but I think the damage was done. I'm not much of a scale girl but when I got on the scale marathon morning I weighed 6 lbs. less than I had earlier in the week, a week I might add of constant carb loading.
After a night of little sleep, marathon morning comes and I'm feeling better but certainly not 100%. R. comes and picks me up and thankfully it's not raining. It was predicted to rain, thunderstorm, and have high winds throughout the race although it was humid and windy at times it still wasn't as bad as expected.
At the starting line I was nervous but excited and ready to get going. R.'s husband was there to give us last minute advice and to distract us which was great. We got started and I think I honestly knew that this may not be my race from the get-go. R. and I had agreed to treat this like our regular training runs which usually involve celebrity gossip, kid stories, or anything we can think of to talk about to make the time go faster. But from the start I didn't do a lot of talking (again very unusual) and it's not because we're going so fast, although we were keeping up pretty well with our pace group. I just felt a little more winded than usual after I talked so I just stopped for the most part.
It was great to see our families at mile 7 and I was already getting emotional just seeing their faces. The next couple of miles were fairly uneventful except for the tree falling on Riverside Dr., for someone that's a big believer in signs this was just the start of some not so good ones. We were finally joined by Em and N. after a nasty little climb so by the time we got to them I was completely mute and feeling horribly guilty for not talking more with Rachel but I realized by this point I was going to need every bit of energy I had to make it through the rest of this race. I also realized that I needed to eat and drink as much as I could stand because I was already feeling dehydrated.
I'm going to stop now and say that I'm sorry this is the most depressing post ever. I think I'm just trying to process it all, so again I apologize.
Now back to my depressing story, we saw our families again at mile 13 but I could barely look over for fear that I would stop right there. Now let me reiterate this is mile 13, this a short run (in my mind now) during our training. There is no way that at mile 13 I should be feeling this bad, given the pace we were going. So mentally I'm feeling pretty crappy at this point to because this should be an easy run for me now and it normally is...arrggh. Sign 2 and 3 this was a bad run, a wrecked car in the middle of the race course, having to stop to let a fire truck back in the station, really!!! I think it was around this time that I asked my friend N. if she didn't mind walking with me for a minute. If you read my earlier post, this was my back-up plan that I never wanted to use but I had nothing left in the tank. I thought that if I took a break, gathered some energy, and caught my breath I would be able to run the rest of the way. Well, that's not exactly what happened. Here's the thing, when you feel that bad and you walk, all you want to do then is walk. When you start running again your body and mind just scream at you to walk, that it felt so much better. It took every ounce of energy I had to run again then I would stop and the cycle would start again. It was brutal because at that point I was already disappointed and in pain. My chest just ached and I never really felt like I could get a deep breath in and with my history it's just a scary feeling. My friends at this point were a God send and I'm honest when I say I couldn't have done it without them. R. got me through the first half, Em. and N. got me through the emotional stage when I wasn't sure I could go on. So thank you, thank you thank you!!!
Sign 4, 5, and 6, angry people yelling because police won't let them run over the racers, funeral procession, protest group holding huge pictures of fetuses.
I pretty much walk/ran until I got to the mile 19 where my family was waiting and Z. was going to run the last 7.2 miles was picking me up. I was very emotional by then and so so happy to see my husband. It was our 5th anniversary and I knew if anybody could get me through these last 7 miles it would be him. It's really funny though because R. and I had talked earlier in the day that the race was like giving birth and it was going to be a lot of pain but it would be worth it in the end. Well nothing demonstrated this more than a couple miles into my leg with Z., he decides to "coach" me through the pain by telling me that I should put my hands on top of my head to get more air in, then nags me to keep doing this although when I do I feel like I'm going to fall over, so I retort with "
you put
your hands over your head and when did you become a doctor?" and of course I started laughing because it really did sound like labor then.
Z. kept me going though, he was encouraging, supportive, and understanding which was exactly wanted I needed at that time. Not only did I feel like I let myself down but I felt like I had let everyone that had supported me down too but Z. trudging along beside me showed me that he didn't care how fast I did it or how I did it for that matter he just wanted me to finish and even if I hadn't I know that he would have been proud of me either way.
Earlier in the day I had said that I just wanted to beat Katie Holmes's time in the NYC marathon (this was my friend T's goal in her marathon so I stole it) little did I know how close I would come. We hit mile 25 at 5:15 and some change and I knew I had less than 14 minutes to run 1.2 miles, which on any other day would have been a cake walk, but I said what the hell I'd rather go out running so we ran and sure enough I came in at 5:26:03, 3 minutes faster than Katie!!! My overall pace was 12:34 and I ran the first half in 2:22 (gun time) which would have put us right on target with our pace group. At the end my parents, Em & N., and J. Bird were there and it was awesome to see them.
I know this seems like a downer post but as I've been writing I realize that the run was itself was bad(painful) but the experience was great. Not just on Saturday but training with my friends, all encouraging words from my friends and family, the sense of accomplishment that I hadn't felt until right now. I did it and would I do it again??? Probably because I still have something to prove to myself but not anytime soon!
Then if that wasn't enough he decided to take it a bit further and spread the cheer around PetSmart.
He refused to take any of it off until I started worrying the nose was going to leave permanent marks on his face and it must have been bothering him too. He certainly spread some Christmas joy around Richmond this morning and definitely brought a smile to my face!
Is that really long or is that just me? He gets it from his Dad, Z. can touch his nose with his tongue.
On to Thanksgiving, we had a great time this year. Due to my own procrastination packing etc. it was a little hectic at times overall it was very relaxing. Thanksgiving morning we continued our family tradition of running the Turkey Trot 10k then having brunch together. Then we went over to my parents house for dinner with all the fixings. It was fantastic. My mom introduced a new dish Cheesy Apples which doesn't sound that appetizing but it was great. We decided to watch a movie together as a family while J. Bird was napping, little did we know renting it that it was basically soft porn which is always fun to watch not only on Thanksgiving but with your parents. So I was thankful that day I wasn't sitting next to my Dad.
Chatting it up with Uncle L., he had a late night the evening before, this was his position most of the day. Oh to be young!!
Then the Friday after Thanksgiving we headed to the 'burg to see Z.'s family. Which was a lot of fun and always good to see everybody. We started watching my new favorite show there (after J. Bird went to bed) True Blood on HBO. It was awesome but again with the soft porn and our parents. I think we had a theme going for the holiday ;)
J. Bird checking out that crazy reindeer with his friend Blondie.
