What a week!!

So it took me awhile to recover from last week and actually write this post. Last week was a series of ups and downs we'll start with the downs.

My name is Courtney and I let my son fall down the stairs...waiting for some absolution. Nope, nothing. I think this is going to take more than just a confession to get rid of this guilt. Here's the story, so my friend comes over to check out J. Bird's new curtains and paint to get some ideas. While we're checking it out, J. Bird and Blondie were just running around. Now let me say at this point that we don't have a gate at the top of the stairs, if you hadn't already figure that out. We don't have a wall to screw one into and a pressure mounted gate scares me with the false sense of security. But the bottom line is that J. Bird knows how to go down the stairs and he knows to wait for Z. or I to go down. But this situation I hadn't anticipated, so he's playing I had just looked at him and he had run into the bathroom presumably to show off his bath toys to his friend. What he actually did was pull the toilet paper and start walking backwards, it's only a few feet but you can guess what happened, he stepped backwards off the stairs. The noise is what I heard and it was awful, it haunts me. He didn't get a bruise, no obvious broken bones, no lump on the head nothing just a crying child and a crying mother. Luckily my friend Em was there because I feel like I kept it a little more together as I asked her if I needed to call 911 or just take him straight to the ER. I did neither, I just held him until he stopped crying then called his Dr. I was told to just observe him to watch for signs of anything amiss but otherwise he sounded ok. I on the other hand was not ok. I felt (feel) awful and a full week later it's still bothering me. I know it was an accident but he's my baby and all I want to do is protect him. I'll ALWAYS feel that way so I guess it's a feeling I might have to get used too.

Now to the good part of the week, Halloween. We had already participated in a couple of Halloween activities this year mostly for the candy and J. Bird was just too cute so we kept dressing him up. He was a firefighter and he loved it. His costume actually doubles as he's rain jacket and we had tried other costumes but he loves to wear it and it's the only hat he'll keep on for more than 2 minutes so we went with it. Halloween night was a lot of fun, we ended up at my friend N.'s neighborhood for a parade and trick or treating. J. Bird had a great time and it was amazing that last year he wasn't walking or talking and this year I'm chasing him around trying to steal his chocolate. What a difference a year makes!